Mary Schmich penned the article  “Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young” many years ago to which my Sunscreen Song Tribute is derived from.

Following the release of my video on Timothy Ferriss’ blog, a lot of people asked me for some life advice.  The truth is, just like Tim wrote about himself in his book, I’m not dirty rich nor do I wish to be.   I’m actually still on the path and don’t believe I’ve made it … yet(*).

I drive a 12-year old Honda Civic which I mostly maintain myself.  My sister-in-law gives me homecuts (albeit very good homecuts).  I’ve never owned a dishwasher, though I fantasize once in a while about having one in the distant future.  Instead of dinner and a movie dates, I choose “cost-efficient” dates such as going to public markets, having impromptu picnics, and surfing vintage thrift stores.

However, I will readily admit that I have planted the seed, and I am on a very good path.

Like one of the other featured people in Tim’s post, soultraveler3, who travels  around the world with her family on 25,000 dollars a year while her daughter plays the violin at each hop, I just don’t want to die with my song still in me.

I also feel that it’s pretty easy for people to write about their successes after they’ve made it, so I think it would be an interesting change for people to be reading from someone who’s only on the path to “making it”.

I’ve pretty much lived my life in reverse.  As a young, single dad many years ago, I was unwillingly forced to grow up very fast until it I couldn’t handle it any longer.  Then, a miraculous thing happened – I looked within myself and realized I was creating my unhappiness.  I realized I was the source of frustration –  and in short,  that was the start of how I became younger as I grew older.

Hopefully, I haven’t let good advice be wasted in my youth, so here is my advice for those who dare to aspire, for those who want to get younger as they grow older, from my youth to everyone of all ages:

Don’t worry about what other people think of you.  It’s mostly in your head.  You will be criticized and mocked (often by the ones closest to you) when you go out on a limb, but that is where all the fruit is.

Follow your intuition.  Men, this is particularly relevant to you since we tend to look at things too objectively.

Be okay with failure and rejection.

Be okay with losing friends who don’t support your new direction.  You will attract the right people into your life if you stay focused and on track.

Recognize the small successes for what they are – a seed planted for something bigger.

Stop judging others or yourself.  Give other people the benefit of the doubt.  In current terms, don’t be a hater.

Do one thing every day that scares you.  Mary Schmich wrote this in her article.  Lululemon reusable shopping bags have this written clearly on them.  I wrote about my experiences trying this concept out too.

Keep your mind active and always be learning something.  Be a lifelong student.  Be nice to beginners  (newbies, noobs), because if you make the lifelong learning habit, you will always be a “noob” at something.  More importantly, be humble.

Don’t concern yourself with being right (and making others wrong).  More often than not, it’s better just to be happy.

See your problems as either challenges or preferably opportunities.  I will admit that this is harder than it sounds yet it is so important.  Looking back on my life, I wouldn’t trade any of my so-called problems for the world, as they’ve taught me so much and brought me to where I am.  From them, I’ve learned acceptance, understanding, compassion, courage, and so much more.   Change your perspective and soon enough, you’ll be having good problems (e.g. Who should I ask out tonight – Betty or Veronica?)

Let go.  Accept the things you can’t change.  What you don’t accept will eat you up on the inside, and will synchronistically age you on the outside.  I’ll repeat it again –  Let go.

Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.  On the other side of fear lies freedom.

Celebrate your successes or achievements, but don’t let them inflate your ego.  Your accomplishments do not make you a better person than anyone else.

Be flexible.

Stay fit.  Your body is the most important possession you will ever have in this world, so take care of it with that in mind.  If you owned a Maserati, you wouldn’t put low octane fuel into it, so treat your body likewise.

Give value to other people.  Don’t think so much about what you can get.  It will come in due time, when you least expect it.

Lift with your knees.

Do what you love.  Working hard or working smart doesn’t mean much if you don’t love what you do.  Again, focus on giving value.  It’s a reward in itself.  Steve Jobs said it best:  If you haven’t found (what you love) yet, keep looking.  Don’t settle.

Simplify.  Don’t accumulate too many things.  They only tie you down and clutter your mind.

Look for similarities in other people, rather than differences.

Stop watching TV.

Create an action habit.  The Law of Attraction doesn’t work without some action.

Practice patience.

Take responsibility for your own actions.  Stop blaming others for your circumstances.

Write down your goals.

Review your goals.

And of course … above all else, wear sunscreen 😉

(*) The notion of “making it” or “success” is purely subjective.   To some people, I may have made it.  To others, no.  Like I mention in the post, always be a student on the path.   Enjoy the journey, not the destination.


Comments

43 responses to “How To Get Younger As You Grow Older And Other Advice From Someone Who Hasn’t Quite Made It Yet”

  1. Excellent post! I agree with these tips. I am on a Happiness Project (thanks Gretchen Rubin!) and I have realized that being happier makes me feel younger! Thanks!

  2. That’s a lot of advises, and they are quite good. However, my head is too simple for them, so it looks like I’ll just try the simplest thing: let go. =D

  3. Be okay with losing friends who don’t support your new direction. You will attract the right people into your life if you stay focused and on track.

    So true and so important. The people you are encircled by have a tremendous impact on yourself. They can either impede you or push you. You need to make a choice. This was a lesson I learned in 2009. I let go of some friends which enabled me to share my precious time with likeminded friends who are students on the same path.

    By the way, I felt free to embed your sunscreen tribute into my blog and translated the whole song to german to make it accessible for all of my friends. I hope this is ok with you.

    Great article! Greetings from Germany.

  4. Great advice Ki’Une! Love the video by the way. Glad to see that you’re fulfilling the dreams that you’ve always encouraged with those around you. Leading by example 🙂

  5. Ki’Une, great post man! I found your blog through that EPIC video you made. Holy jeez! It was my introduction to the sunscreen song. Since then I’ve shown it to just about everyone in my family. They all loved it.

    i like what you had to say: “I also feel that it’s pretty easy for people to write about their successes after they’ve made it, so I think it would be an interesting change for people to be reading from someone who’s only on the path to “making it”.”
    I totally agree, and am trying to write about my journey as I’m on the path. What I’m working on right now is muse creation. You can bet once its working that I will be purchasing a dvd though 😉

    Your book recommendations are awesome. We have very similar tastes. I recommend Illusions by Richard Bach, and The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho if you haven’t read them yet. I just finished The Superior Man. I’m learning how to stay in touch with my purpose, and lean into my edge. Easier said than done.

    Keep up the good work brother. I’m blown away.

    1. Steve,

      Thanks for the meaningful comment! I’ve read The Alchemist a few times, but haven’t read Illusions yet!

      All the best,

      Ki’une

  6. I’m blown away!!!!! your sunscreen song had a very big impact on me !!!!
    I am soooooooooo inspired from you
    cant wait to do it my self !!!!!!
    Shushu
    ‘A game is a game where you lose and you win and both are part
    of it, and when there is more chance of losing and you are
    playing the game, its more charming. The game has value when
    it is tough!!!!’ his holiness sri sri ravi shankar

    1. @Shushu I look forward to hearing your song. Make you post it as a Youtube video response all the people who love my video can see it!

  7. Marcello Avatar
    Marcello

    I really love your blog, its very inspiring to read your articles (finished reading them all in one day…very addictive :))
    I want to try all these things out right now, but i know that tomorrow I`ll make excuses not to do it. I’m scared of breaking out of my everyday life, though i’m bored with it. But i hope that I can break through this boring life with your very inspiring articles.

    All the best from Germany,
    Marcello

    1. @Marcello You can wait until the boredom is so sever that you do something (this has happened to me), or you can take that first step today! Thanks so much for reading all my articles – you’re the first person who’s told me that.

  8. Hi Ki’une,
    Excellent advice!
    On the other side of fear lies freedom <– So true!

    Approximately 8 years ago I walked away from a job in corporate business. And I decided not to complete my Economics Studies although I only had to write my thesis…

    Did it scare the hell out of me? YOU BETCHA!
    Was I lost for a long time? YOU BETCHA!

    I felt like taking a leap of faith, jumping of that cliff, not knowing where I would end up. YIKES!

    The path of finding my way home was long… and hard… but with the help of so many I made it 🙂

    Waving at you from Portland, OR

    Nancy

    1. @Nancy Believe it or not, up to now, I still get nightmares where I show up to the last exam for engineering school clueless! It’s so good to hear other people putting themselves out there. Sometimes, I feel alone in my endeavours.

      Ki’une

  9. I wanted to drop by and say hi after seeing your video on the 4-Hour Workweek blog. Amazing job!

    Every once in a while I see something that strongly reminds about how amazing place the world we live in really is, and how great it feels just to be alive. This time it was your video that did it.

    //sami

    1. @Sami Thanks for the comment! Please share it with as many people as possible. I look forward to hearing of YOUR adventures.

  10. Marcello Avatar
    Marcello

    Hello Ki’une,

    it’s me again.
    I wanted to ask you, if you could give me an advice on how to get in shape or what kind of sport I could do? I dance three hours a week, but thats not enough.

    Ever since I found this website (a week ago) I’m really getting things done. In the last few days I have done things I was scared of or just avoided to do. And the next thing on my list is getting in shape as I was with 17 (since yesterday I’m 20).

    I’m looking forward to your answer, but I hope that I’m not too bothersome.
    Marcello

    1. @Marcello I had a half-written article on my thoughts of this, but I don’t want to push it out yet. Off the top of my head, I would say do activities you love. I can’t stand going into the gym to do reps, so I rock climb. Some people find it scary, but there are other activities: ultimate frisbee, salsa dancing, indoor soccer… If you do pick up sports, they’re not as competitive so it’s more fun. Also try going vegetarian during the day. You’ll find it more difficult to eat bad, fast food, like the Bratwurst off the street!

  11. Nancy Ricci shared an article entitled “You have not failed, my sweet sensation” documenting her journey through the unknown

    http://bit.ly/7X6NbX

  12. I love this advice…..I think that it comes across in a light-hearted way because you are living it. Thank you for living it and sharing.

    1. Yes, and like Mary Schmich said, it “has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.”

  13. Dude. You are awesome. Just watched your video at Tim’s blog. It was a amazing and inspiring. This post really goes well with the video.

    P.S I noticed you were doing some sort of martial art in the video. I have always been intrigued by martial arts, kung fu, tai chi and what not. Where would you recommend a beginner start in the martial arts?

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki’une

      What I’m doing is just a personal mix of amateur kung fu, tae kwon do, and dance! .. though I have been doing this amateur mix for a while now! I’ve done Judo before, so like most people, I’m particularly interested in Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ). I think no matter which path you choose, as long as you mix in some meditation, it’s good!

  14. great stuff, ki’une. as one of my mentors says, “people love to see others ‘in the process’”. keep on doing what you’re doing, what you love. as you’ve already seen, even more people will be inspired to join you on your journey.

    all the best to you!
    philipp

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki’une

      Thanks for the kind words. I’d love to see more people putting themselves out there!

  15. I cut my own hair. I’ve never had my nails done. I use cheap makeup and don’t use perfume. I don’t own a TV. I eat really simple food most of the time. I don’t own very many things at all. My laptop provides all my entertainment and most of my education. I also earn a living with it. I don’t own a car. I use both sides of a sheet of paper before I throw it away. I have moved on and have lost both friends and family. I like my life!

    1. Amy, thanks for sharing your common experience! I have a blog post lined up about facing the false fear of going broke to achieve success. Fortune favors the brave!

  16. Hi ki’une!
    I watched your video just when it came out, and it’s been on my iPod ever since. I thank you so much for your courage to live the words in the song, and the inspiration you provide for me and many others. In spite of the environment I live in now where I’m expected to kill my dreams, the video continues to give me hope that we can live such free lives. You broke the 4 minute mile 🙂

    1. Kotaro,

      Wow yeah, I can’t tell you what to do, but I do understand your situation personally and can relate my experiences to you. When I had my little guy, I wasn’t ready, didn’t have a job, knew I wouldn’t marry my son’s mom, and thought the world had turned against me. There are many things I can’t change about my relationship with my son as I’m not always there – that’s why I mention in my post “acceptance” and “letting go”. I did what I could to turn my life situation into a win-win situation. I can tell you that your situation is a very common experience – it’s not the end of the world. I wouldn’t take back what has happened to me for the world because it’s one of the pivotal events in my life that has helped me grown immensely. If you have any more questions, feel free to contact me through the contact form so you don’t have to make your personal life public.

      All the best,

      Ki’une

    2. berry Avatar
      berry

      hey Kotaro!

      I am sorry if you think my question is inappropriate! I just read your post (5 month later) and I am wondering how you decided?

      regards

      1. Hi berry, Hi Ki’une

        Thanks so much for caring and your words of encouragement has helped me immensely.

        My persuasion skill wasn’t so great…but at least I was able to make her feel extremely guilty about the idea of abortion.

        Guess what? My son was born healthily on the 17th of June! And best of all, my gf loves him so much!!

        I’m currently living with my gf’s family and they’ve offered to take care of my son IF we decided we wanted to do our own things. Although I want to take care of him and see him grow, I want to pursue my ambitions too so I’m still deciding which option to take.

        As for me, I’m doing everything I can to earn enough $$$ so I can pay for my son’s expenses + have the option to go to Brazil or Spain to do some serious soccer training.

        5 months ago, my life was so gray and I felt so miserable. I’m extremely happy and grateful (even though sleep deprived from baby crying, lol) with how things are now.

        Now I’ve got to get my butt moving so I can train daily, work on my business, and organize my life!

        once again thanks for caring!!!

        1. berry Avatar
          berry

          oh man, I am so glad to hear that your gf didn´t do the abortion! CONGRATS to your little son! Enjoy the time with him. It´s gonna be great! I´m shure you will handle all three things well. Wish you all the best!

          cheers

        2. Kotaro,

          Not sure if I replied yet, but I’m really stoked to hear everything is OK! Actually, no matter what, everything turns out OK given some time. All that matters is how you look at things – it can either be a tragedy or an opportunity. My personal situation, much like yours, was intially disguised as a tragedy – and I let it control my life, my thinking, for too long. Now, I can only see it as one of the greatest opportunities in my life!

          Ki’une

  17. Awesome blog – your attitude is refreshing! I too am on the path while sharing some of these principles with others. Visit my blog if you get a chance! http://www.kimberlykingsley.com/reflections

  18. nice post. thanks.

  19. Thanks Ki’une so much for this. I needed it.

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki'une

      Glad to have helped! Please share!

  20. berry Avatar
    berry

    hey Ki’une, hey everybody on this blog!

    I don´t need to tell you how much I appreciate the work and sharing on this blog I just discovered a view weeks befor. Thank you Ki’une!

    I read Tim´s book and his blog, read the Law of Attraction, listened to Steve Jobs great words and searched the internet for as much as possible informations about taking my life in my hands and having succes and lots of fun. It´s great having you guys out there on the other side of the world having the heart on the same side as mine.

    I am asking you to accompany each other on our way to a great life. To create a kind of braintrust or mastermind to tell each other our goals, our plans and our experiences. TOGETHER we could be smarter and more motivated and more efficient then sitting at home alone..

    what do you think? Ki’une, do you think we can put something together?

    please allow me to put some words here of Edward Boches:

    “Surround yourself with people who give you energy. As far as I’m concerned there are only two kinds of people in business: those you want to avoid, and those with whom you want to surround yourself. The former sucks energy out of you by complaining, criticizing and making excuses. The latter infuses your imagination with fresh thinking, interesting ideas, and a contagious enthusiasm for what’s possible…

    …I think one of the greatest things about the new digital platforms that let us connect, share, discover and expand our tribes is that we can find sources of inspiration anywhere.”

    cheers
    Berry (from Germany)

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki'une

      Hi Berry,

      For sure, this is what this blog is all about. Lots of people want to take control of their lives, or as Tim puts it, lifestyle design. Not too many people talk about their journeys. This is where this blog comes in. I’m showing how it’s done AS IT HAPPENS. If you have any questions or things you’d like to know, want me to write about, please ask. I actually have a TON or half-written articles already, as well as videography for another 5 inspirational videos. I can’t outsource it… because as Tony Hsieh wrote in “Delivering Happiness”, don’t outsource your core competency.

      All the best,

      Jesse Ki’une

  21. berry Avatar
    berry

    hey Jesse, hey everybody!

    I was thinking more of a kind of a forum. but this could work as well. so I give it a shot and start:

    I live in Germany and I am unenployed for too many years. I am not dumb, I am kinda lazy and weird in my head:) I wanna stop that kind of life now and wanna “get up every morning to change the world a little and have a damn good time by doing that..” (E.B.White)

    I have sooo many ideas in my head but no money. So I wanna apply for money support from the government for starting a little business to get the ball rolling. Maybe half a year later when things are moving I wanna create my ‘muse’ and start the crazy businesses I really want but the government wouldn´t pay for.

    The thing is I´m sitting over the application form for about a month, don´t get to do the first step, it´s crazy.. And need movement back in my life..

    So, I tell you all my little goal for the next week: I wanna send the application letter to the government until next week, start going out for jogging again and take a swim every day. Sounds a little silly but those things really pushe me and make me feel alive. Next week I´m gonna tell you if I got it (or not)..

    does anyone feel like joining me and tell us about your plan and your one-week-goal?

    please share..

    cheers!

    1. Yes, the barrier to success I see most is procrastination. Those who DO succeed.

  22. Bery,
    Please, I want to know you did it…Did you follow through? You have to find the desire to follow through, we all have visions of grandeur, the difference being just doing it ! However bizzare the idea may be,just do it..Let me know, I ‘ll send the money to you…

  23. Bonnie Avatar
    Bonnie

    i agree so much with that i now have kids of my own and only wich they new what it was to grow old and have nothing givin to them with out some price to pay… life is short live it to the fullest and never ever look back….

  24. Ki’une, love to organize a dance with you here in the USA to raise funds and awareness for Japan and victims of natural disasters globaly, a global awareness dance campaign.
    Keeping the soul and spirit refreshed and focused on the art of song and dance with action for relief and spiritual well-being.
    Contact me at my email and enjoy the music!

    St. Michael

    Psalm 91

    http://www.podOmatic.com\michaelmessenger

    1. Oh, nice! What are the details? I actually have my own help Japan campaign going on too.

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