“I’ll have this ice cream float”

I pointed to a picture on a menu while a waiter to my order before wearily slumping into the comfy cushioned seating of a quasi-upscale restaurant in Myanmar.  Soon, this would be the location of an important personal lesson on gratitude.

Let me provide a little background for those of you not familiar with Myanmar, also historically known as Burma.   Myanmar has one of the longest running military dictatorships in the world, and its oppression of their citizens  and human rights violations and are well known.  But things are changing.  Recently, their most famous political prisoner, Aung San Suu Kyi, finally was allowed to leave the country and accept the Nobel Peace Prize bestowed upon her two decades ago.  Hopefully, this is a sign of more good changes coming.

Last year, I had the privilege to visit this economically isolated, and thus culturally isolated, country.  There were some small hurdles to get in, but it wasn’t particularly difficult, like entering Bhutan or Tibet from a western border.  Once inside, I found out from other travellers that the hurdles were mostly superficial.  Many, in fact, took advantage of the disorganized tourist tracking system and overstayed their visit by months to illegally do volunteer work.

Random events led me to show up in July, when the country was still baking in the simmering midsummer heat.  Perhaps you’ve  experienced extremely hot, humid weather at some time or another, whether it be in New York or Hong Kong, but Myanmar’s heat is different – since it’s a developing country, there’s very little escape, making one very aware of it at all times.  Aside from a cooling break at the famed high-altitude Inle Lake, air conditioning could not be found – not at my hostel, not in any shops or in the taxis.  To top it off, frequent brownouts also meant that often times, I didn’t even have a fan.  The motor vehicles, all of which seemed to be at minimum, 30 years in age, only aggravated the humidity by creating a thick haze of pollution from their unfiltered patchwork exhausts.  Needless to say, my appetite came to a standstill in the weather.

In the arid ancient city of Bagan, the heat was so intense that the horses wouldn’t move during the daytime, and so I would wait until 5pm before wandering out into the valley of temples.  I killed time by either sitting in random caves and temples, or chatting with other travellers and locals.  I made a valiant attempt even to teach hip hop at an orphanage, but ultimately wasn’t allowed, so I taught the kids on the street.

Returning to the day in question, by my own fault, I had just lost my phone, whose only function in a country with almost no communication services was as a Burmese dictionary.  To top it off, I was also scammed for $40 earlier while exchanging money on the streets.  I was pretty furious over being tricked by sleight of hand, especially since I do card magic, but I wasn’t going to get in a tussle with the ten guys who swarmed me as I became confrontational.

An earlier rainfall only made the humidity more unbearable, so it was then that I sought solace in ice cream, which is surprising since I don’t have a sweet tooth.  In a city with daily brownouts, anything cold is rather difficult to come by, let alone ice cream, which boasts a much lower storage temperature, so I had commissioned to myself a pretty daunting task.  With the aid of my guidebook, I located a high-end restaurant by Myanmar standards, though it would probably make your average Olive Garden look like a Dubai hotel in comparison.  The interior was overly dark, either to emulate the look of a Western jazz club or to hide its true disheveled appearance, and I found myself stumbling along my way to my table, where I ordered said ice cream float.

When it arrived, my anticipation was dashed as I dug into a dissatisfying mountain of warm fruit with an almost-melted, miniscule dallop of vanilla ice cream (or lukewarm heavy cream – I couldn’t tell the difference) on top.   Alas, it wouldn’t give me the momentary luxurious relief from the heat I was seeking, and with it’s sticky sweetness, it just made me thirstier than before.

Sorely disappointed, my mind started wandering I thought about all the things that sucked to be in Myanmar.  The dirty, polluted streets and rivers.  The smell on the streets.  The god-awful humidity.  The poorly imitated western food.  The tattered clothing and beaten look of everything.  The immoral scam artists I met earlier.  The horrendous teeth some locals had from chewing too many areca nuts.  The constant harrassment to buy postcards.

Although I didn’t bark at anyone, I was more or less doing it inside my head.

As I stepped back on the street, I took a few deep breaths, as is customary when I have any heavy feelings.  In doing so, I caught my negative thinking and began to choke up, submerged in a wave of chagrin, regretting the thoughts that I was possibly above the Burmese people.  Here I was, my stupid, little universe crumbling before me because of mild physical discomfort, something that I had willingly chose by travelling to Myanmar, and yet, everyone here had quietly accepted this way of life.  Shamefully returning to my black market motorcycle, I handed the 10-year old child backpacking his younger brother the local currency left in my pockets.  He had been waiting patiently for my return.

For the rest of that night, I sweated it out in my room without a complaint to be had.

A week later, I would be sitting comfortably in the extravagant confines of an air conditioned Bangkok mall, surrounded by happy-go-lucky shoppers, the splendours of the internationally themed food court, and the myriad of vendors busily attracting customers.  I spent most of my day in that mall, just people watching, writing, and reflecting.  Given the stark contrast from where I had just returned from, I didn’t have much heart to do anything else.

As I sat there, and as I write now, I realized that as simple as I’ve tried to live over the past few years, I still have so much to learn on gratitude, and that life could be much more modest.  Do I really want to be cruising the cool, wide shopping lanes of an enormous Walmart Superstore back at home, or do I want to be dancing in a valley of 4,000 temples and stupas?  It’s not a rhetorical question.  When the unforgiving heat is as inescapable as it is in Myanmar, combined with loneliness-creep of solo travel and rampant dirty conditions, my mind starts wandering, and once-forgettable creature comforts emerge to tempt me.

Myanmar is a beautiful country.  The people are beautiful – I mean it, I’m not saying it in some patronizing “all people are beautiful” way.  The guys have strong features, and I would date a Burmese woman in a heartbeat – I even started to like the yellow thanakha face paint they would smear on their faces.   Yes, I had an unpleasant experience with one fraudster, but the general population is extremely honest.  Without any bank machines to be found, I carried all my money, huge stacks of low denomination kyit, their local currency, around me the entire time I was there.  I never worried about it, even though all the locals knew I was a walking ATM.  The lack of development means they still have a nature reserve few countries can match, if you’re able to get out there.  It also means that the Burmese people are caught between two worlds, and they can’t be blamed for what they don’t have or how they will adapt to new changes.

Are you unhappy with your car, your house, or your financial situation?  Are you unfairly comparing yourself to other who have more?  Or is something entirely different getting you down, like your work?  The truth is, we have a lot of choice, but fail to see it when we have our gratitude blinders on.  Take some time today to write it down all the things you are appreciative of.  No one has to read it but yourself.  Then, read it again, take a deep breath, and marvel at the opportunities that lay before you.

If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with worries over the problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful.

– Author Unknown

 


Comments

12 responses to “A Guilt And Gratitude Lesson In Myanmar (Burma)”

  1. It’s a difficult task to remain grateful in the face of discomfort. I still suck at it. On the upside, it’s been shown that gratitude is linked to happiness, so it’s a worthwhile skill to learn.

    I’ve been using Happy Rambles (Google it, I’m afraid a link would mark me as spam) as a free daily gratitude journal. It’s been refreshing to end each day remembering what I’m grateful for. There are always a few things to note even on what seem to be the worst possible days.

    I’d really like to visit Myanmar someday. I lived in Mae Sot, Thailand for a couple weeks but if I remember correctly I couldn’t travel openly into Myanmar from there (though I visited the border several times).

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki’une

      Collin, I checked out Happy Rambles, and I signed up! I think the online aspect of it is awesome to see past points!

  2. Great post Ki’une. It helps to put things in perspective from time to time.

    I read your blog regularly and I’m a fan.

    Was having a particular rough day (bogged down with work, camera broke), but then I checked out your Sunscreen video (which I hadn’t seen in a while). Made me feel better, and added video to my post yesterday.

    Thanks for your stories.

    -Rich

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki’une

      I seriously have to get my butt working on the next inspirational video 🙂

  3. Ki’une,

    Another great post! You’re completely right, we do have a lot of choice here in the USA. I think it is such a good practice to place ourselves in situations where choice is limited. Nothing can inspire gratitude more.

    I read many blogs, I don’t think there is another where I look forward to posts as much as yours. You are very gifted in your thoughtful writing and ability to inspire. Keep up the great work Ki’une.

    Jeremy

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki’une

      Jeremy,

      Thanks so much for the kind words. I really take that to heart, since I’m not a writer by nature, and am trying hard to develop an engaging style of writing.

      Cheers,

      Ki’une

  4. Wow what a reflection on your adventure and to finish up with such a powerful message. I wrote down what I am appreciative of and I just don’t feel so bad any more.
    Mary

    A new reader to your blog

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki’une

      Mary, I’m so glad my writing has impacted you. I spent an above average amount of time putting together that post, and as I wrote it, I felt the same emotions of guilt and gratitude that I went through before. I’m currently experimenting with making the time to have a daily gratitude reflection, as another reader pointed out to me.

  5. Jeff Hudson Avatar
    Jeff Hudson

    Great job Ki’une. I actually just returned from a trip to a developing country and had many of the same thoughts in times of discomfort. One thing I find it hard to do though is keep the same feelings of gratitude when I first returned home. Do you have any suggestions?

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki’une

      Jeff, great question, and I think my original reply got lost somewhere! I find one thing that really helps is living a really austere life back at home, especially if you can afford much more.

  6. Candace Avatar
    Candace

    Thanks for the post! I have been a fan of yours from the first time I had the pleasure of watching your tribute with the Sunscreen Song. You are truly inspiring. I am a 23 year old with an absolutely obsession for international travel and adventure, but my circumstances will not allow for it at the moment. I’m starting to realize that you have to MAKE it work, not wait around for things to change. So here’s to the beautiful lifestyle you live and for your incredible work that is still inspiring others to want more out of life than whats often expected.

    1. ki'une Avatar
      ki’une

      I’m glad to have helped out! It’s awesome to realize your obsession at such a young age, but don’t allow to time to slip by or rationalize your dreams away!

      Ki’une

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