To people who have just met me, it might seem that everything I have done seems to have panned out. I wanted to work for myself, and my first few business endeavours didn’t turn out so bad. I wanted to paint, and most of my art has had some gallery time as well as been sold. Same with photography. I wanted to be a good rock climber, and I’m climbing at a pretty respectable level. I wanted to be good with women, and my dating life is respectable right now, to say the least. I wanted to be a good snowboarder, dancer, magician, white water kayaker, adventurer, speak multiple languages, and so and and so forth.
Have I been lucky?
Not so much. Along each thing that works out, there are a serious number of embarrassing failures and a lot of perserverance. I’ve just gotten comfortable with embarrassing failures.
I have a number of shelved paintings that I feel are uninspired, even though I’ve spent countless hours on them. I’ll probably throw them out soon once I accept that they are that bad.
Many of my creative endeavors were canned. Even look at this website, for example, you can see on the sidebanner that I had a writing gap. Risingbean.com had virtually no readership in the first year. And right now, I feel the first few articles I wrote were not particularly well written.
I’m more than sure many of the women I’ve approached in the past thought I was creepy, awkward, or weird. Honestly speaking, 9 out of 10 phone numbers I collected didn’t pan out beyond flirty text messages. Even now, many numbers don’t work out. It’s just part of the game.
When I started learning Latin dancing, most women in the clubs wouldn’t dance with me because I wasn’t a good enough leader. Even today, some women don’t like dancing salsa with me because my style is unconventional (it’s heavily hip hop infused).
I’ve taken huge falls rock climbing, had snowboarding tricks go wrong and land bad, desperately pulled out of my kayak and gasped for air in bitterly cold Nepali rapids, been “busted” doing my magic tricks, offended many people accidentally, and have gotten lost all over the world.
So yes, it’s not without a lot of failure and perserverance that one gets a breakthrough.
And I’m not talking about just trying out something. I’m talking about committing to learn a skill to a proficient level or have a true experience of something.
It’s easy to try out snowboarding and give up because it’s too painful ( tip for beginners: wear wrist guards, knee pads, and a butt pad on your first three days if you want to succeed). Similarly, it’s easy to go snowboarding once a year but never learn to carve. It’s easy to say “Hello”, “How much?”, “Where is the toilet?” and count to 10 in a language, but having a conversation, making friends, or flirting with the opposite sex in a foreign language is a whole new ballgame.
The same goes for anything you try – my point is that you need to commit and follow through consistently to get good at it.
How do we do this?
Castenada once wrote:
“Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.”
Choose the path with heart. Sometimes, like rock climbing, it’s new and exciting from the start. Other times, like learning languages, it takes a while to see the results. As long as the heart is there, once combined with grit and determination, you’ll get there while enjoying the journey.
The journey may involve some loss. Many actors retire from high paying but monotonous TV or movie roles to pursue theatre again. I’ve lost the approval of many people in the pursuit of my endeavours. It’s all about the evolution of ourselves.
So get started. Take your ego out of the picture. Stop worrying about what other people will think. Remove the distractions from your life. Think abundance and opportunity. Everyone is capable of making great achievements.
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
– Yoda
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23 comments
“A path with heart” – I LOVE that!
And the Yoda quote; that is the second time I have seen it this week in blog-land… I think the Universe is trying to tell me something.
For sure. Today’s as good as any time to start DOING. In fact, it’s the ONLY time!
Hey Bean! I knew there was a reason I kept your blog in my RSS. Awesome post man. Truly inspiring.
I moved to Singapore 2 months ago, with a great plan. So far I have already fallen flat on my face in a few areas. Time to go back and dust off my initial goals. In two months I should have been able to do more than count from 1 to 10 in Mandarin. No time like the present to get kicking in that department though.
I think I am going to make a little hook and keep it by my door with a sign saying, “Hang ego here” for every time I go out.
Singapore’s tougher since English is pretty decent there. I got my Mandarin up and running through listening to MP3 lessons while on the go, and then combining it with speaking with people. Immersion is the best though!
Wow you did it again! awesome writing and highly inspirational.
Hope you continue this amazing web for a long time.
Greetings from Spain querido amigo!
Wow you did it again! an incredible text full of inspirational content, it really helps to encourage people to do what they want.
Hope you continue writing in this web for a long time.
Greetings from Spain querido amigo!
Thanks Rafa! I’m glad my writing’s helping. Like I wrote in the post, it took a little while to get the hang of writing well, and it didn’t start so well!
“it’s not without a lot of failure and perserverance that one gets a breakthrough”
So true. Looking back, so many of my great accomplishments began as abject failures… things I hid out of embarrassment, but pursued nonetheless because my heart was in it. Thankfully, I have a thicker skin now.
I love what you’re doing Ki’une; never stop dancing!
Thanks for the kinds words, Mike! Even though your skin may be thicker, let that inner child out as often as possible! And don’t worry, I haven’t stopped dancing, but man, my feet are pretty tired from my most recent dance trip..
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ki'une, Matthew Raynor. Matthew Raynor said: The Midas Effect – http://tinyurl.com/33e7phj […]
man, the do or not do is killing me…
even reading books and stuff, I make the plans and almost never go for them =~
And i know that I HAVE TO GO AND DO but I just dont go…
PS:write more stuff when you can, pls XD
Lol. Please, please try to take one small step in that direction. I promise you’ll see results pretty quickly! What area do you want to improve on?
Hi Ki’une,
Hows it going? I liked your youtube video: The Sunscreen Song – 10 Year Tribute (Everybody’s Free). It was good and entertaining.
I thought the Yoda quote went like this: “Try not. Do or do not.” It was quoted in a Criminal Minds television show episode also. I like your risingbean.com website it is good.
Cheers, Jason
You may be right! I think I just quoted it off the top of my head – the meaning is there still, right? All the best!
You’re spot on man! If you’re never failing, you’re not pushing the envelope, which is where the sweetest essence of life is located. I ski black diamonds when I was barely skiing blues last year, and I didn’t get there without falling many times — hell, I even fell doing a really hard run late this year, separated my right shoulder … will it discourage me? No, I came away with a lesson on treating soft Spring snow with respect!
There are no failures, only feedback.
Reminds me of the beatings I’ve taken too. I wear full body armor underneath now to reduce any serious injuries though!
No doubt you have read MASTERY by George Leonard (also the author of The Way of Aikido) ? Your post totally resonates with it.
Gassho!
ki’une,
Just wanted to let you know that your blog reallly speaks to me – I think its amazing. Thank you for writing it.
Joe
PS – Just tried meditating for the first time after thinking about doing it for months 🙂 your old blog entry on meditation was the final inspiration.
Joe,
Thanks! That encourages me to write more. On meditation, I’ve learned recently to take it into every day activities more – it mostly requires practicing patience whenever you’re in a waiting situation.
Ki’une
Ki’une,
Good article.
BTW, the music video “sunscreen song” is awesome.
I plan to do one similar masterpiece in the future.
Keep on doing cool things!
More masterpieces to come!
Very nice post!
You make me think about the right things and forget about the wrong things, motivate me to improve myself in all aspects of life & help me seeing a lot from a different perspective!
Know that your work is really helping people, at least it does for me. So yeah, keep it up!